Brady Done for Seasons, Career

And so ends the era of dominance in Beantown.

Before moving on to my larger point, ProFootballTalk.com is speculating that there is a chance New England's most beloved star (oh if only Big Papi were less Dominican) could miss all of next year and quite possibly all of 2010. Apparently post surgical knee infections are no joke. You can read about all the gory details here but the long and short of it is this - if the current treatment does not rid Brady's knee of infection, the surgery will have to be performed all over again. With new screws and a new dead guy's ACL. This new surgery could not take place until the infection has been completely cleaned out and the recovery from a second procedure is not nearly as routine as recovery from the first.

I always was a little suspicious about the short timetable on Brady's recovery. He tore both major knee ligaments in the most severe way possible. It takes most players longer than 12 months to recover from an injury like that yet we were to believe it would take the great Tom Brady a mere 8? Now you go throwing this crazy, extremely rare infection (occurs in less than 0.05% of patients) into the mix and we are clearly looking at early 2010 before the knee is 100%, best case scenario.

In just 9 months, the Red Sox and Patriots have choked away chances to cement their place in history. The Patriots lost to an inferior team in a game they took too lightly. The Sox failed to complete an unlikely comeback in a game that was more than winnable. While all this was going on, something was happening that may have gone unnoticed, at least in the City of Champions; everybody else got better.

Ok, that is not totally fair, plenty of teams got worse. However, as we sit almost halfway through an NFL season and as we look ahead to a new Red Sox season some six months away, both teams are staring down the barrel of mediocrity. The Patriots find themselves outside the top 10 for the first time since god knows how when. Above them are teams that couldn't beat their reserves but a few years ago. Teams like Buffalo, Tennessee, New York (Giants), Carolina, and yes, even the Arizona Cardinals.

While the Sox may have finished second in the AL this season, making the playoffs next season is no sure thing. Tampa Bay will be that much better with one more year of experience and plenty of new blood added to the mix. The rest of the AL East will be a dog fight with the Yankees new 300 million dollar payroll and the Blue Jays picking up where they left off 2008. The other divisions on the junior circuit will be no cake walk either. Anaheim is not getting any worse, neither is Texas, Chicago or Minnesota, and Detroit can't possibly suck as much as this past season.

Only time will tell whether these dire predictions come to fruition but facts are facts and I'm no stranger to twisting them to support whatever story I concoct. Whether Tom Terrific ever returns to form remains to be seen. I say no way. Whether the Sox find a way to replace the Manny, Ortiz 1-2 punch remains to be seen. I say forget about it. Whether any New England team can win a championship before I have grandchildren remains to be seen. I say don't count on it.

Craig Sager is the Tits

That there is Craig Sager. Prior to making his acquaintance after last night's debacle at Fenway, I always thought he was a little odd with those blazers. Maybe one loving of a little too much attention. Not necessarily a bad sideline guy but not my favorite either. I couldn't have been more wrong.

I ran into Mr. Sager at the Cask shortly after the last out and he was mobbed upon his arrival. He never seemed annoyed by this and greeted each fan as enthusiastically as the one before. Quite refreshing when you consider the percentage of primadonna's in the sports journalism business (looking at you Joe Buck).

I waited for the crowd to clear out around him before making my way over and was glad he was still friendly when I got there. A five minute conversation is what I ended up with and that was a solid 4 minutes longer than I imagined so I was quite thrilled. Here's a brief summary -

ME: Baseball different than working Basketball?
Sager: Different is the key word. The fans are different, the game is different, its a lot different

Me: Did that shit with Papelbon piss you off or were you cool with that?
Sager: ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That was awesome, one of the coolest things ever. I was just pissed because I had to come here that night soaked in booze.

Me: How about that thing with Garnett was that planned?
Sager: Hold on one second I need a beer.
Me: I got plenty in the pitcher right here for you, give me your cup...
Sager: Is it Bud Light? I only drink Bud Light.
Me: Is there any other beer worth drinking? (Suck on that More Taste League)
Me: So Garnett, you know that question was coming?
Sager: Oh God no. That is the best part of this thing, the unexpected that comes when talking to athletes. Its great.

And that was that. I said thanks for the time and walked off to continue my journey to blackout land. Another successful journey I should add...its really miraculous I remember this conversation at all.

The best sideline interview ever? I think so. (Start around the 1:15 mark)

Absolutely Refreshing

Misty May and Kerri Walsh wrapped up their second consecutive gold tonight and it was nothing short of amazing. Perhaps I'll have some more on this in the morning but the night cannot end without commenting on the post-match interview conducted by NBC's Heather Cox.

In an age when so many musicians, celebrities and athletes are quick to put down the US and more specifically, the US Government, it was refreshing to see Misty & Kerri go out of their way to thank the President. Instead of the mind numbing shout-outs to baby-momma's, illegitimate kids and entourage pals we are forced to uncomfortably sit through after touchdowns, home runs and Grammy's we actually got to witness a couple of world class, two time gold medal athletes paying tribute to what matters - Country.

Let's not confuse the issue either; this is not about support for a President, Government or political party. I have no idea which way Misty or Kerri voted in the past two elections, nor should I. Both were simply honored to play for the greatest country on earth and could not hide the pride they felt in bringing home the gold again. Good for them and hopefully it will rub off on some other high profile athletes we love to cheer for (looking at you, Lebron).

Oh Canada

What a place.

They say you learn something new everyday and today is no exception as I got me some education on our friends to the North. You see, Canada is not all that different than Russia or China. They give off this vibe like they are totally free (decriminalizing weed, graciously hosting draft dodgers and military AWOLs, etc..) but it's a bunch of bullshit. Don't believe me? Try moving up there and starting a radio station focused on 1990's American Hip Hop. Can't do it.

The Canadian Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC) has these silly laws in place that require all radio stations to play 35% Canadian content. That guarantees that every third song you hear on the radio will be either by Broken Social Scene or Nickelback. It's really hit or miss up there and even Bryan Adams once complained that Can-con promoted mediocre content. Coming from Bryan Adams, that's saying a lot.

Naturally, these China-esque laws don't stop with radio waves. They extend right on through to television and the internet which is where things start to get interesting. From today's National Post:

An Edmonton-based adult film producer has won federal government approval for a new pornography channel with an unusual twist: half of the content is to be Canadian.

Shaun Donnelly's Real Productions received the OK from the CRTC on Wednesday to operate a digital cable channel -- called Northern Peaks -- that is billed as "Canada's first adult video channel programming significant Canadian content."

At first this might seem like a bad thing - you know with the whole government telling you what you can air and what you cannot thing - but for Donnelly, when life gives you lemons...

"I've always found there's a real turn-on to watching and knowing it's people you could run into in the grocery store,"

So there you have it. Although, I'm still a little confused as to the intent of the law. Toronto has an enormous Asian population, more than a couple probably nationalized. Which side of the 50% would some girl on girl Torontasion content fall on? This is something that will need to be cleared up, pronto.

Tek's Struggles Finally Over

Several media outlets (if you want to call them that) are reporting that Sox Captain Jason Varitek is FINALLLLY filing for divorce from his lovely wife Karen. He's only about 8 years late to this party but hey, better now than 10 years from now when he's managing some single A squad down in Kentucky.

I'm sure his wife is a very lovely lady but she was never really bringing it in the looks department and it would appear as though the post game party with Erin Andrews and Heidi Watney finally pushed him over the edge.

The only question I have is, will this positively affect the Sox stretch run and will it be enough to get JV over the .230 line? I would have to say yes. I can't imagine that waking up next to someone with more back hair than you has a positive affect on your daily output regardless of what your occupation is. Now, the term contract year takes on a whole new meaning for The Cap. He's playing for money AND pussy.

Sadly, I don't think he will have a problem getting either. Mediocre catching is at a premium these days and there are enough pink hats in this city to help him break Wilt Chamberlain's record if that's what he wants.

Freakish

The average NFL player consumes a 5000 calorie/day diet. This breaks out to about 18 calories per pound. Compared to the average American diet of 2500 calories/day, this makes plenty of sense. The NFL is arguably the most physically demanding of all the major sports and when you factor in the diet of the lineman, the only real suprise is that the gap is not larger.

How then, would you explain this -

Michael Phelps consumes upwards of 10,000 calories per day. Check this dude's daily diet:

Phelps lends a new spin to the phrase "Breakfast of Champions" by starting off his day by eating three fried-egg sandwiches loaded with cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, fried onions and mayonnaise.

He follows that up with two cups of coffee, a five-egg omelet, a bowl of grits, three slices of French toast topped with powdered sugar and three chocolate-chip pancakes.

At lunch, Phelps gobbles up a pound of enriched pasta and two large ham and cheese sandwiches slathered with mayo on white bread - capping off the meal by chugging about 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

For dinner, Phelps really loads up on the carbs - what he needs to give him plenty of energy for his five-hours-a-day, six-days-a-week regimen - with a pound of pasta and an entire pizza. He washes all that down with another 1,000 calories worth of energy drinks.

Can you even begin to imagine what an average shit for this guy looks like? He eats twice as much as Ty Warren yet he is as cut up as Floyd Mayweather. I don't get it.

Just in the Nick of Time

Whoa boy. Not sure how I almost let this one get away from me. Marisa Miller celebrated the completion of her 30th year on this planet today. Wouldn't be a fitting celebration without a peek at her best work ever.



So Happy Birthday Marisa, may we only hope you age as well as Cindy Crawford.

The Thing That Really Bothers Me

...is that Brett Favre is continually taking in the shitter and none of this is really his fault.

When it comes to #4, I am as tired as the next guy. My eyes instinctively roll at the mere mention of his name. Like the vast majority of heterosexuals living outside Wisconsin, I strongly dislike Favre. Always have, probably always will. The sad part about this is that it's really not even Brett's fault. He's never said anything or done anything that has upset me in the least. It's more a result of the mainstream media and the weekly hand jobs they have given Brett since he was traded from the Falcons - Madden, King, Berman, Kornheiser and everyone else that has ever broad casted a game, been a part of a pregame show or reported on football at any point in their career. They all slurp so much Favre juice its amazing they have any appetite left for real food (which clearly, they do. See King, Peter and Madden, John).

If it weren't for the MSM, there is a good chance I would admire Favre. What's not to appreciate, the guy is a pain killer addicted booze hound with a sexy wife and all the money in the world. Oh and he just so happens to be one the best quarterbacks to ever play the game.

All this being said, here is my major issue with the current Packer/Favre stalemate. Brett is getting fucked. Hard. You can say he's being selfish or you can say it is his fault for walking away in the first place but what do you expect from a pk addicted booze hound?

I liken his situation to that of a middle aged wife who still brings it but it's obvious her better days are in the rear view. All of a sudden the husband gets eyes for some sexy 25 year old still in her prime. No one is going to fault the husband for jumping ship but once he makes that commitment, there is no going back. The wife is free to do what she wants and if that means banging a 25 year old dude (the Vikings in Favre's case) then so be it. The Packers are clearly delusional in this case thinking they can have both. Sure, we'd all love the option to ditch the old steady wife in favor of some young volatile little thing while keeping the wife ready and waiting as your stable back up but I'm guessing she is not going to go for that. And neither should Brett so good on him for taking a stand and flying out of that shitstain town of Green Bay.

The point is this - If Favre is still good enough to be a top line NFL quarterback (and apparently he is, otherwise, the Packers wouldn't give a fuck who he plays for) then allow him to at least compete for the starting job in Green Bay. By saying Rodgers is their man and they want Brett as a back up or team spokesman or whatever, the Packers are fully acknowledging they want to bang the 25 year old while keeping the wifey around in case 25 isn't quite what they were expecting. As much as I wish it did, life does not work this way.

NFL Determined to Rid League of Crips, Bloods

Right after we get a fun little story about how NFL locker rooms are a really fun place with lots of great homo jokes, we get this gem of a headline right off ESPN.com -

Report: NFL to review tape for evidence of on-field gang signs

Is this what we have turned into as a society? We are now hiring "experts" to analyze old game tapes for the possibility of gang signs? Where might one find these alleged "experts" and how much is their time worth? The NFL has a long standing reputation of never settling for anything less than the best so does that mean they are bringing in Suge Knight and plopping his 400 pounds in front of a TV?

The worst part of this story is the automatic linkage to Paul Pierce's incident in the playoff series against Atlanta. Says one NFL VP -

"We were always suspicious that [gang-related hand signals] might be happening," said Mike Pereira, the NFL's vice president of officiating, according to the report. "But the Paul Pierce thing is what brought it to light. When he was fined ... that's when we said we need to take a look at it and see if we need to be aware of it."

Never mind the fact that it was never proven that Pierce flashed any gang sign whatsoever. Never mind the fact that Pierce's Truth Foundation funds anti-gang programs all over the country. Hey, the NBA has black guys and one got fined for some gang stuff so we better investigate the black folks in our league too. Real logical.

At least one person associated with the NFL has some common sense -

"Guys come from all over the country, and who knows what they're really doing?" Jacksonville Jaguars receiver Dennis Northcutt said, according to The Times' report. "People have got signs for their kids, signs for their fraternities. How do you differentiate who's really throwing up gang signs?

"This is a gang sign," he added, touching his index finger to his thumb to form a squished version of the hand sign for OK. "But at the same time, it's a sign for a personnel group."

Bleep You, Liberals

Eddie Vedder tickets went on sale last week. Apparently he's doing some solo shows following a nationwide full band tour that ended in June. I caught the last two shows at the Great Tweeter Comcast Woods Center and suffice it to say, I was blown the fuck away. See, that is what happens when I venture out to any sort of musical act. I always feel so-so heading into the show and come out ready to tattoo the band name on my lower back (wait? what?). I have what you might call an addictive personality.

Anyway, I was happy as fuck when I heard about Vedder touring solo if only to carry on the stoke I felt during the last week of June. I realized it wouldn't be quite the same since 90% of the band would be staying home and the setlist would be invariably different. I also realized the political bullshit would be ten times what it was in Mansfield but whatever, I was game. What I did not know was that all the liberal fucks and MoveOn.org douche bags would come out en masse and drive the ticket price of this shit through the roof. Both nights sold out in about 13 seconds flat and now its looking like 150 bucks a ticket just to get my ass in a seat that night.

So, to all you tight jean wearing, George Bush hating wannabe Canadians: GET FUCKED. Take the weekend off from bitching about high gas prices or illegitimate wars and kindly go die in a boating accident. And most importantly, stop fucking up my summer.

Some Positive News From the NFL

Look, I was as sad as the next guy over the retirement of Will Leitch. I was also afraid of what would happen to the most well written blog on the planet. I'm starting to feel a little better on both accounts now that I've sampled a little of the next generation.

Clay Travis penned an absolute gem today regarding the side of an NFL locker room we rarely get to see. Any story that humanizes those that we worship is a plus in my book and the revelation that "No Homo" is the joke of choice in the NFL really made my day.

Writes Travis -

Professional sports locker rooms are one of the last bastions for gay humor. That’s because there’s never been any gay athletes. So, you see, the very idea of anyone being gay is always funny. Which brings me to the first big scoop of my illustrious Deadspin career: The phrase “No Homo” has taken over NFL locker rooms.

It’s everywhere, on every single team, the NFL equivalent of the late 90's Macarena dance. No Homo owes its popularity to the remarkably varied and infinitely complicated nature of its use. Or the opposite. One or the other. It’s applied thusly:

LenDale White says to Vince Young: “Vince, you’ve got great nips. No homo.”

Brilliant.

I have a buddy that has been using this phrase religiously over the past year or two. While I have always gotten a light chuckle out of its use, it never became standard verbiage amongst any social circle I belong to. You can bet that is going to change now that I know Donovan McNabb uses these exact words every time he accidentally grazes Brian Westbrook's ass.

NFL Joke of Choice - Deadspin

Finally, Something New to Hunt

With the nation's wild horse population swelling to more than 33,000 and another 30,000 currently held in holding facilities it has been determined that some of these beasts must die. This is great news because, man, do I hate horses. Loathsome, useless creatures that stopped being relevant right around the James Garfield administration.

I guess some expert decided the US could manage no more than 27,000 of the things at any given time so by my math we have a solid 6,000 to poach. If it were up to me, I'd release the 30,000 from horse prison and then we could really have a field day.

Can you think of anything more fun than coming up with exotic ways to assassinate a horse? Two great movies come to mind, The Patriot and 300. The horses in those flicks got fucked the fuck up and it was, in a word, awesome.

So I guess the question is, where do we go from here? Do I need to fill out any paper work or apply for a permit? Can we just head out west and start shooting? Please, someone enlighten me.
(h/t - WSJ and LA Times)

We Thank You

From the bottom of our hearts.

A million blogs have logged a million posts with regards to one William F Leitch. Make this 1,000,001. You are a genius, a visionary and a leader. Enough words there are not to describe the love we share for you (in the most hetero way possible…of course).

On behalf of every jerk off hack like ourselves, there is a debt of gratitude that will never be repaid. You paved a road that never deserved tar and you blazed a trail that never deserved the effort. Yet, as we look back it all seems to make so much sense.

Sports news without access, favor or discretion. Why didn’t we think of that. So obvious, so simple, so perfect.

Before tarnishing a legacy with more incoherent rambling, let’s just end it with some words of your own. As has been the case so many times, we could not have said it better ourselves.

That's all we wanted Deadspin to be all along; a place where people could slip away from their life for a while, dig in, have some fun, then head back to the regular life, where bills must be paid, family must be attended to, jobs must be (slightly) acknowledged. You know: Kind of like sports themselves. Life is difficult. Life is scary. Diversions — real, palpable diversions, places where you can go away and frolic, and then return to the world the way you found it, for better or worse — are rare, and should be cherished. That's what sports are. That's what we hope this site has been. That's what we're certain it will continue to be.

Good night and good luck.

Adolph Coors - Fucking it up Since 1873

What is with these guys? Of all the liquor purveyors in this country, Coors is the only one that should have stayed under after the repeal of prohibition. They have not done a God Damn thing right since. The product is shit (I know, man landed on the moon), their advertising makes the folks at Geico look smart and the gimmicks are not clever enough to trick a Saint Bernard.

I remember when I tasted my first Coors Light. I was 15 and it was free. And warm. And skunked. I loved it, but really, my only basis for comparison was some cheap whiskey I stole from the parents wet bar. Time passed, I realized that Bud Light was much more fashionable and I felt way less gay asking the bums outside the liquor store to buy it for me. Then a funny thing happened. I was 22 and the store near my house was out of BL's. I said fuck it, Coors can't be that bad, picked up a 12 pack and tapped the Rockies. Guess what? It tasted EXACTLY like it did the first time I had it 7 years prior (warm and skunked).

As far as their marketing campaigns go - I'll leave it to Drew Magory of Kissing Suzy Kolber to summarize those efforts:

It's a beer ad. It's not fucking hard. Start with a monkey. Then show some tits. Then make a dick joke. Then cut to product. See? Gold. Yet these guys constantly fuck it up. Coors Light's motto is "The coldest beer in the world!" Do they understand the logic flaw in that selling point? Oooh, it's so cold, we can only measure it in Kelvin! Morons. You know what the coldest beer in the world is? ANY OF THEM. I had a Coors Light once that had been sitting in the car for an hour in late August. It was anything but cold. So fuck you, Pete Coors. Fuck your advertising, and fuck your cheap, shitty beer. Fuck.

All of this is well and good but certainly not worth an entire post. That is where the new gimmicks come in and push me right over the top. First we had the mountains changing colors once the bottles were sufficiently cool (blue like your eyes). That was pretty fucking stupid. I've held enough cold objects in my day and I am pretty confident I don't need some paper label to tell me when my beer is ok to drink.

Currently, we are in the middle of the newest cluster fuck of a promotion - vented wide mouth cans. That's right, if the wide mouth alone isn't enough to rush their shitty swill to your liver, now there is a quarter inch vent along side to quicken up the pace. To set the record straight, I was never really on board with the wide mouth thing in the first place. It is not like drinking liquid from a can was ever all that challenging. I'm pretty sure it was something that Terry Schiavo could have managed on a bad day. Plus, worst case scenario, can't you just pour it into a glass? Now we get a vented wide mouth? Pretty sad. Its readily apparent that the brain trust running this shit show has never heard of shotgunning.

You want to impress me Coors, find a way to put a tab on the side of the can along with the one up top. That way, I won't always have to carry keys with me and I won't have to worry about hacking up my fingers and gums on all the shrapnel.

Doing My Part

It's been a while. For which I apologize. I really did not plan on posting until June 7th but who knows, maybe I will squeeze a few more in before then.

A lot of hot air has been wasted regarding the expected stimulus checks millions of Americans are waiting on. Depending on the last two digits of your social security number, its quite possible you've gotten it back already. The last two of mine are 41 and my rebate cleared on Friday or Saturday of last weekend. Not sure of the exact day since I spent the weekend more or less in a drunken haze.

However, the key is that I did spend which is why I figured I would take a moment and break down where my stimulus money ended up. First, let me go on record - I think this stimulus plan is completely asinine to begin with and will do close to nothing to help our economy. A one time cash flow that amounts to little more than an extra week's pay for an average American is not going to do anything to solve what really troubles the economy ($130 oil, hundreds of billions of dollars in mortgage related writedowns by banks all over the country, an astonishingly weak dollar, 5%+ inflation, etc, etc...) Despite all this, I decided to play along and do my part. After all, I am a Patriot.

The government's disbursement plan coincided beautifully with a last minute trip to DC so it was not too tough to find ways to spend my money. For starters, I booked $180 round trip ticket on Southwest to get down there. The airlines (aside from Southwest) are struggling with higher fuel costs (its called hedging fucksticks) so what hell, I felt honored to give the industry a little boost. Once down there, I took in a Nationals game at their brand new park. Beautiful stadium. While I spent nothing on the ticket, I did buy about 3 dozen draft beers and some related ballpark food which came out to a cool hundo. I capped the weekend off with a dinner which included several orders of buffalo wings and another 3 dozen draft beers bringing the 2-day total to around 4 bills.

I took the other 2 hundred and dumped it in to my ING Orange fund so it could yield about 2.5% over the next 12 months. It also brings ING's capital up so they can make more shitty decisions on CMO's and other asset backed securities thus injecting some much needed liquidity into the market.

Like I said, I'm a Patriot.

Skirt Day

There are four days a year I look forward to like no other. They are holidays in my book and far more important than Christmas or Thanksgiving. In order of occurrence -

1. The First Two Days of March Madness
2. Skirt Day
3. July 3rd

Today, we'll spend sometime discussing what makes number 2 so damn amazing.

I think my favorite part of Skirt Day is that you never know when it is going to occur. We always know that March Madness begins on the 3rd of 4th Thursday of March. July 3rd is July 3rd. But Skirt Day? It Could fall within an unpredictably wide 4 or 5 week range. This leads to plenty of "almosts" and inevitable disappointment but when the day finally comes, you wind up feeling like Josh Hartnett at the end of 40 Days and 40 Nights.

Skirt Day 2008 came a little early but you can officially throw it in the calendar as April 23rd, 2008. The temps rounded out at about 80 degrees and the breeze was delightfully warm. Thankfully, we were not blue balled to death with glorious weather reports only to have a sea breeze fuck it all up this year and there were really only a couple of close calls. Believe me, it could have been a lot worse. I recall a couple of years back at URI days where the day eluded us until early May.

If you think this day loses its luster the older you get, you are sorely mistaken. It was fun in college because you had the quad as a central viewing point but there was so much T&A on campus that it really didn't provide any extra joy other than to signify the end of classes and beginning of summer. In the real world, it is approximately 37.5 times better. After being stuck in an office all winter long with the same insufferable broads wearing the same baggy dress pants and turtle neck sweaters, skirt day takes your mind places you forgot it could even go.

Since joining the adult work force, I have managed to get the two tournament days and July 3rd off every single year without fail. I'm getting a to a point in my life where I may need to start doing the same for Skirt Day. 2 hour lunches in Post Office Square just aren't cutting it anymore.

Joe Calzaghe - Best # for # in the World?

It is a tough call with Floyd still out there, still undefeated. But Joe Calzaghe joined the conversation by coming over to the US (first time ever fighting outside of Europe) and beating the most distinguished US fighter over the past 20 years.

A lot of people will argue that Hopkins is too old and this win was not really that impressive for Calzaghe since he fought a guy 7 years away from getting is AARP card. Horseshit if you ask me. 43 or not, BHop is still fighting at the top of his game. He may be mixing in a few more dirty tricks here and there but he is still as fundamentally sound as he was 10 years ago. He came in to last nights fight after back to back wins over Winky Wright and Antonio Tarver.

Regardless of how you want to frame the conversation, the fight was exciting and I am still in awe that it was not a PPV card, instead showing for free on regular HBO. Some quick thoughts I took away from it all -

- Max Kellerman is terrible. I'm not sure what happened since his days hosting Around the Horn but his boxing commentary (allegedly his bread and butter) is just not good. He is awkward on camera and makes Larry Merchant seem like a genius.

- Playing up the race issue was not a good move for HBO. So Hopkins said he'd never lose to a white boy, who cares? We did not need Kellerman and friends to drive the point home and discuss the difference between white and black fighters.

- Calzaghe getting knocked down in round 1 was a fluke. He was caught off balance and BHop more tackled him to the mat than knocked him down.

- For the second marquee Vegas fight in a row, the American fighter was the one in hostile territory. The crowd was 75% Welshman, maybe more. I was pretty excited about this, the atmosphere is much more electric with the Brits involved.

- Calzaghe playing to the crowd by fucking BHop in the ass when he went down after an alleged low blow was great. Boxing is 50% showmanship and Calz showed he can play the game with the best of them.

It will be interesting to see what happens next. It seems like the obvious fight will be Roy Jones Jr vs. Calzaghe but I would be more interested in seeing Joe fight Kelly Pavlik. If by some act of god, De La Hoya beats Mayweather in September, a Calzaghe, De La Hoya bout at Super Middle would be fascinating however unlikely.

I'm Hard

Prior to last summer, Miller came out with a new beer called the Miller Chill. It was your standard American light beer infused with lime and salt. A lot of people saw it and instantly thought Corona ripoff. Before making my own snap judgement, I researched it a little and discovered it was nothing like Corona at all. It was actually good. Really good.

Fast forward to Labor Day and I'm a good 130 of these things deep for the summer (you can really only drink about 6 in a sitting before they wear on you). Summer was over but I was pumped. I finally found a summer beer worth getting excited over to replace Sam's Summer. I love me a Sam's Summer as much as the next guy but seriously, I've been drinking them every Memorial Day like clock work since I was 18.

With the Miller Chill's, there was really only one problem. It was a Miller. I loathe Miller anything. In life, we are forced to pick sides on a lot of issues. Nobody likes a fence sitter, they are homos. Bud Light/Miller Light is one of those sides you are forced to choose. Kind of like Coke/Pepsi, Duke/UNC or Tits/Cock. (As an aside, your choice on one generally impacts your choice on many others. For instance, those who choose the Miller Lights are way more prone to liking UNC and Cock. Crazy how it works out.) Back to the subject at hand, I am a Bud Light guy. Having to start my Saturday's off with a six pack of Miller product was not easy.

As the summer of 2008 gets closer, Anheuser Busch solved my dilemma by announcing Bud Light Lime. I saw the first commercials during the Final Four games and had the Tar Heels not been fucking me out of another 100 bucks, I would have popped wood right there in the bar. Now, summer can't get here soon enough so I can try one of these suckers.

Oh and if you're one of those purists who doesn't believe in fruit & beer combinations, eat a dick. It is a personal preference and one that I am perfectly ok with.

And Wow

Absolutely Amazing.

It is so, so rare for a sporting event surrounded with hype to actually live up or beat your expectations. For 26 years I have toiled away watching countless championships in every major sport only to be disappointed by the underdog failing to defy odds or even worse, failing to keep the contest interesting. In a match up like this, while there was no true dog, there was more than enough potential for a one sided route a' la Kansas, UNC on Saturday night.

We finally got a good one and I could not have been more satisfied. Kansas and Memphis played it close the entire game. Until the final five minutes, the game was played within a six point range. The quality of play was solid on both sides of the ball with excellent defensive efforts out of guys like Brandon Rush and Robert Dozier. The Jayhawks were able to keep Derrick Rose in check for the first three quarters of the game and Memphis did not let Mario Chalmers or Rush beat them.

If nothing else, the game was complete. Everybody loves clutch and what could be more clutch than the 3-pointer Chalmers drained with 2.1 on the clock? Prior to that, Rose was sick of being treated like Sherron Collins' bitch all night and single handedly put Memphis up nine with under three to play. That was a pretty clutch four minutes of basketball, wouldn't you agree?

On top of the clutch, we got the choke. We heard about Memphis' charity stripe woes all year long. Calipari said his boys would make the ones that counted and until the last two minutes of tonight's game, he was pretty accurate. CDR and Rose turned into JJ Redick on the line. But when the pressure was on and the lights were their brightest, CDR missed three and Rose missed another. Any one of the four could have iced the game. There is a reason why we love the Chris Weber timeout call 50 years after the fact and its because we love the choke. Well guess what? We have another 50 years of video role.

Yes, the game had it all and better than a happy ending after an exotic massage we got some Luthor Vandross "One Shining Moment" to top it all off. What a night.

Gus Johnson Has More Weekend Plans

And so does Dick Enberg!

Anyhow, here's the weekend lineup from CBS.

Thursday:
Xavier vs. West Virginia (Phoenix, 7:10pm)- Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery
North Carolina vs. Washington St. (Charlotte, 7:27pm)- Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas
UCLA vs. Western Kentucky (Phoenix, 9:40pm)- Verne Lundquist and Raftery
Tennessee vs. Louisville (Charlotte, 9:57pm)- Dick Enberg and Jay Bilas

Friday:

Wisconsin vs. Davidson (Detroit, 7:10pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore
Texas vs. Stanford (Houston, 7:27pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer
Kansas vs. Villanova (Detroit, 9:40pm)- Gus Johnson and Len Elmore
Memphis vs. Michigan State (Houston, 9:57pm)- Jim Nantz and Billy Packer

Basically, CBS kept all the talent from the first weekend around and got rid of the waste (I'm looking at you Bolerjack). Good work.

Gus Johnson's Weekend Plans

Old pal Gus received his itinerary for the first and second round games - he will be in the Mile High City. He will be calling the Thursday and Saturday games with first round match ups as follows -

Notre Dame - George Mason
Wash St - Winthrop (This one has some serious Gus potential)
Mich St - Temple
Pittsburgh - Oral Roberts

He will be paired up with Len Elmore of ESPN fame. One of the best analysts on TV. This is the combo of the tourney right here.

As for the rest of the sites and announces -

Thursday/Saturday -
Washington: Craig Bolerjack and Bob Wenzel
Omaha: Kevin Harlan and Dan Bonner
Anaheim: Dick Enberg or Carter Blackburn and Jay Bilas (Bilas is the second best analyst out there. This will be a good mix too)

Friday/Sunday -
Birmingham: Verne Lundquist and Bill Raftery
Tampa: Tim Brando and Mike Gminski (Nothing like a little more Duke love)
Raleigh: Jim Nantz and Billy Packer (Douchiest Pairing)
Little Rock: Ian Eagle and Jim Spanarkel.

Chris Rock is Gutter

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Best. News. Ever.

Three posts in 1 day = boss in 3 consecutive hours of meetings.

Anyhow, I might be late to the party on this one but I just heard the best news of 2008. Friday Night Lights will be back for a 3rd season. Other than Lost, this is the only show I religiously watch. Compare this to 2006 when I had a solid 7 definite shows per week along with a few I would watch under the right circumstances. Thank you writers strike for limiting my choices and forcing me to watch more college basketball. Out of any show I have watched in my 26 years on this planet, FNL is the best. There is not a close second. The sad part is, I don't know anybody that watches it. The show has consistently averaged 6+ million viewers over the past two seasons and I don't know one of them. It has been critically acclaimed as the best sports show to ever hit prime time yet I can't convince a single friend, coworker or family member that its worth an hour per week.

Whatever, the fact remains its coming back for season 3 and I couldn't be happier. With that news, I couldn't really care less who watches it. If you don't want to watch now, your loss.

Some other FNL reviews -
http://www.deadlinehollywooddaily.com/nbc-picking-up-friday-night-lights-after-partnering-on-it-with-directv/

http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/television/2007/10/08/071008crte_television_franklin

Bill Simmons

From Chuck Klosterman -
Friday Night Lights is such a brilliant, effective TV show that -- sometimes -- I don’t enjoy watching it. Very often, I will feel on the verge of tears throughout an entire episode; it is the most emotionally manipulative show ever made. Part of it has to do with its brilliant use of music; if you play Explosions in the Sky loud enough, the process of hanging drywall can be a life-altering experience. But the larger reason Friday Night Lights is so moving is the way it taps into all the conservative impulses most mediacentric intellectuals try to ignore. The show’s moral code is so traditional and pure that it borders on cliché. It’s reactionary in the best possible way. Whenever I watch it, I find myself thinking, I bet my parents would love this. Which is probably why I was certain that FNL looked like CBS.

I watched Friday Night Lights exclusively on DVD. I am now aware that it’s an NBC production, but I didn’t know that when I saw the pilot. And it absolutely looked like CBS to me. It looked a little like Dallas or the NCAA tournament. And it still looks like CBS to me -- because I made that happen. Perhaps thirty seconds into the first episode, I interpreted positive depictions of conservative ideals in its presentation, I associated them with the tradition of CBS (Murder, She Wrote; Barnaby Jones; etc.), and I tricked my optic nerves into seeing FNL the same way I might see Cagney & Lacey or CSI: Miami. I don’t know how, but I did. And the fact that I was wrong once indicates I was never really right before. My ability to tell the visual difference between networks was both true and false. What does that mean? Maybe nothing. But maybe this: The relationship between success, experience, and reality is less concrete than logic might dictate. For years, I was able to see a difference between networks, even though they were identical; I was getting the right answer, but I was asking an unrelated question. This happens all the time, to everyone. We will never know how we know what we know. Which is why you should never place your faith in the hands of a person whose greatest strength is answering his own questions.

Double Life? Sounds Good To Me

Two posts in one day = slow day at work. Anyhow, I found this little nugget in Time Out Magazine. Kind of a trashy little city read but seems much more entertaining than The Metro or Boston Now. This month's cover is about leading double lives. I was drawn by the JPM Analyst by day, Cabbie by night story which was plenty interesting. Then I got to the following story.
-------------------------------------------------------------
I am a... happily married guy / happy-ending addict.

I’m just coming from there now, the spa. Yeah. I wasn’t planning on it—it’s always an impulse thing—but then I guess it isn’t totally, because I do know that I’m definitely going to go at least three, four times a month. It’s not exactly a double life, but I feel wrong doing it—it gives me this weird sense of power, which feels good and also, I know, is shitty. I don’t want to be some Patrick Bateman–like douche bag, all full of himself. But I can’t stop. I’m married, but I love to get hand jobs.

It started with online porn. I’ve only been married for a year and I love my wife. Really, it’s an intense, open connection. And our love life is good—this isn’t about being dissatisfied. It’s about new experiences. The porn wasn’t enough, so I started looking up escorts—in-calls. There’s this site, the Erotic Review (theeroticreview.com), where these dudes post about their experiences. The rip-offs, the sure things, what to do. I was reading them and realized I didn’t want to have sex with another woman. I couldn’t do that to my wife. So the posts about the Asian spas looked great. No intercourse, just a hand job.

The first time, I went to this place White Hyacinth (243 W 30th St between Seventh and Eighth Aves, suite 501; 212-279-6644), and it looked like a real spa, in a legit business building. They gave me a shower on a table, a bad massage and nothing after. I didn’t ask—I didn’t know. So then I went to this other place that got amazing reviews, Gold Spa (128 W 36th St between Sixth Ave and Broadway, 212-947-0544). I walked in one workday morning, because that’s how you beat the other dudes. There’s an Asian chick there. She takes me into a small room. And it’s like—she got right down to it: stroking me, she took off her top, I’m sucking on her nipples. No sex. Again, it was about the new experience. To be honest, I wasn’t thinking, I’m so turned on. It was more like, Wow, these nipples are different than my wife’s nipples. Do I like that? I don’t know. But something’s working. Afterward, when I leave these places—especially if it’s cold outside—I see everything in HD. I’m so relaxed.

I got to work that day and felt like, Man, if these people knew…They’d never guess, they’d never know. I’m Mr. Clean-Cut IT Guy. But if they did…I’ve been back to Gold Spa—and White Hyacinth, which turned out to do something similar, if you ask. And I also tried this place called My Heavenly Hands, which advertised on Craigslist. Latin women. You go to this studio apartment right over the Ed Sullivan Theater where Late Show is filmed, which I think is funny.
Each time I go after work to any of these places, I feel like I’m shedding my office personality and doing my own thing—something that’s mine. I feel that way when I come home, too—not guilty. I compartmentalize it. I tell my wife that I was at work late. If that’s what I need to be the perfect worker and decent husband, then I deserve it. See, again, I sound like a complete asshole. But I don’t know any other way to, you know, feel clear.

(h/t Dealbreaker, Time Out NY)

What a Night for Jumpball

After the week from hell (2/18 - 2/22) littered with losses from URI, Duke and the C's, we were due for some better fortune. Last night, it arrived. Duke absolutely throttled a bad Virginia team, which was expected but impressive nonetheless. Despite winning their previous 3 games, they had to come from behind a couple of times and looked terrible shooting the ball. Last night, every body got hot at the same time. They were lights out from behind the arc and the team turned in their best rebounding effort of the year. They had boatloads of 2nd chance points, something you don't often see from a team with no size. It was a very satisfying win, much more so than Coach K's 800th vs. NC State last Saturday.

As a result of the Duke game, I did not watch much of the Celtics/Pistons. However, I did catch the 4th Quarter in its entirety and I was thoroughly impressed with the way the C's stretched their lead over the final few minutes and ended the game. Compare that to the way they finished their first matchup with the Pistons (losing by 2 at home after having the lead for most of the 4th quarter) and you can see the growth this team has experienced. It's only March but they are poised to make a very deep run come playoff time.

1987 = 2008

Lenny Clark has always told it like it is. For my money, he's the best comedian out there and it's a god damn shame all of his TV work has been so underrated (except for Rescue Me of course). Anyways, HBO aired this clip tonight and its the first I've seen of it. Have a watch and tell me that everything he talks about in 1987 isn't the exact same as it is in 2008. The terrorism, the drinking and driving, the everybody hating America - it's unfuckingcanny.



Now far be it from me to get all political on a sports blog, but what are all these assholes out there talking about when they say this country is a mess. If you're going to sit here and tell me that we are worse off after 8 years of President Bush than we were before he took office, I'm going to tell you that you're on another planet. Lenny performed this skit 21 years ago and the only thing that was different then was his coke habit and those thin ties. Outside of that, we're living in the same world my friend.

Sorry for the two posts in a row with You Tubes. I'm getting lazy, sue me.

Oh Man

This is ridiculous. I can't stand Rachel Ray and I really don't like HJ's (who am I kidding, I love them) but this video made my morning. Whoever spliced this cut deserves an Oscar, pronto.



(h/t Dealbreaker)

My New Hero - Or Another Reason to Rip Wisconsin

Check out this skeevy dude in the background of Monday night's Marquette, Villanova game. Instant classic.

Also, why is he holding a radar gun? Definite spaz.

(h/t - The Big Lead)

Stuff White People Like

In my constant search for new and mildy entertaining blogs I stumbled upon Stuff White People Like. In a word, genius. I spent hours looking up and down the list, studying the eloquent prose. After reading about each item on the list, I found myself nodding in approval. It was all so true. If it wasn't something that I could directly relate to, I could easily think of 5 or 10 white friends that it would apply to. Many of the things listed were universally applicable to the white race. I mean find me a white person who doesn't like Mos Def or Asian girls. Can't do it.

At anyrate, I have re-posted the list for your convenience. I even put the best ones in bold. However, I strongly encourage you to visit the source to get the full write up for each item. I should also mention that the list is growing. There are currently 73 but a handful of new ones are added each week.

Stuff White People Like

1. Coffee
2. Religions That Their Parents Don't Belong To
3. Film Festivals
4. Assists
5. Farmers Markets
6. Organic Food
7. Diversity
8. Barack Obama
9. Making You Feel Bad About Not Going Outside
10. Wes Anderson Movies
11. Asian Girls
12. Non-Profit Organizations
13. Tea
14. Having Black Friends
15. Yoga
16. "Gifted" Children
17. Hating Their Parents
18. Awareness
19. Traveling
20. Being an Expert on YOUR Culture
21. Writer's Workshops
22. Having Two Last Names
23. Microbreweries
24. Wine
25. David Sedaris
26. Manhattan (Now Brooklyn Too!)
27. Marathons
28. Not Having a TV
29. 80's Night
30. Wrigley Field
31. Snowboarding
32. Vegan/Vegetarianism
33. Marijuana
34. Architecture
35. The Daily Show/Colbert Report
36. Breakfast Places
37. Renovations
38. Arrested Development
39. Netflix
40. Apple Products
41. Indie Music
42. Sushi
43. Plays
44. Public Radio
45. Asian Fusion Food
46. The Sunday New York Times
47. Art Degrees
48. Whole Foods and Grocery Co-Ops
49. Vintage
50. Irony
51. Living By The Water
52. Sarah Silverman
53. Dogs
54. Kitchen Gadgets
55. Apologies
56. Lawyers
57. Juno
58. Japan
59. Natural Medicine
60. Toyota Prius
61. Bicycles
62. Knowing What's Best for Poor People
63. Expensive Sandwiches
64. Recycling
65. Co-Ed Sports
66. Divorce
67. Standing Still At Concerts
68. Michel Gondry
69. Mos Def
70. Difficult Breakups
71. Being the Only Other White Person Around
72. Study Abroad
73. Gentrification

This, That and The Other Thing

Good News - I've decided to take a position as a paid blogger on a new site. I've linked to these guys before and now you will be able to see my genious on display over there. Here's the link, bookmark it. http://duelingcouches.blogspot.com

As for the money, I would rather not get into the details. Let's just say its enough to live in Southie but not quite enough for the Back Bay.

--------------------------------------------------------------
In other items -

I will go on record as saying the winner of tonight's UMass/URI game will get into the Big Dance, the loser will join the NIT. 2nd biggest game of the week behind Memphis/Tenn.

Candace Parker going to the WNBA is bad for college basketball. Like many have said, I will not watch a WNBA game but I watch plenty of Women's CBB action just so I can see her play.

And We're Back

I missed a lot in 11 days. Lots of NBA trade action, all the pitcher/catcher nonsense, Kelly Pavlik beating Jermaine Taylor again and I'm sure plenty of other things I have yet to read about. The biggest news for me was the unveiling of the SI Swimsuit Issue. Ever since my dad would steal these from me as a kid under the guise of me being too young to read it, I have eagerly anticipated the magazine's arrival. I'm no longer a subscriber so I now must buy it at the newstand with all the other pervs in the world but the anticipation is still the same.

Readers of this site will know that this year's issue is a bigger deal than normal for me. During my absense from reality, SI announced the cover would go to seven year vetran Marisa Miller. The issue dropped on February 12th and you damn well know the first thing I did upon arriving in Boston was picking up my copy. I've gone through it about 4 times now and my first reaction can be summed up in two words. Fuck and Me.

Don't get me wrong, there could be a few more photos of dear Marisa but supplemented with the online content it is gangbusters. This means a lot coming from me. I just spent a week and a half in a nation where 75% of the female population under the age of 23 could star in their very own Maxim (or SoHo if we want to keep it local).

I guess the moral of the post is that coming back to this shitty ass city with its shitty ass weather was not easy. The SI Swimsuit issue and its lovely cover have made this reality just a little bit easier.

Hiatus, Bitches

Well I'm off. Romney looks to be on the ropes and with an uncertain political climate at home, I'm heading to the stability that is known as Costa Rica. Good times.

Regular posting will resume on President's day. Until then, peace.

P.S. If boredom overtakes you, head on over to Dueling Couches

Signing Day

Signing day was today. I don't really care. But apparently we were supposed to pick a player to latch on to for his college career. I read Rivals and occasionally scan the EPSN top prospects but other than that it all kind of bores me. Let me know when these guys pick up their first sexual assualt charge or get busted for buying booze for 15 year olds. My pick is Kevin Hart, a lineman from Nevada. I don't know dick about him and didn't really care to find anything out. Allegedly he paid some recruiter to hook him up at Cal. Nobody informed him that blue chip athletes get paid, they don't do the paying. Boy I would love to see this guys SAT scores. Anyways, here's the story as I originally saw it. April Fool's Signing Day

BMack and DP were a little more thorough in their own research. Here are some snippets from the novels they sent in.
---------------------------------------------------
BMack -

I have found my new love in college football. His name is De'Anthony Curtis (Ed Note: The ESPN write up was provided however its long and boring so go to ESPN.com if you really give a shit). This freak of nature will be attending the great school of Arkansas. He is going to be the next Mcfadden, and will win at least one Hiesman Trophy. There are many reasons to enjoy this "Athlete". Take his first name, De'Anthony, any person thats put De', or Ja' in front of thier name has greatness in thier future. JaMarcus Russell, DeAngelo Williams (college), and a personal favorite from back in the day Jamar Tombs (Texas A&M). The next reason to love him is that he has the same last name as my favorite NFL player ever Curtis Martin. So how can we possibly go wrong. De'Anthony will also be in a system that is losing thier top two running backs, and loves to run the ball. With the Arkansas system in place he will get a lot of touches. Playing in the SEC helps a player reach that next level since you will be playing NFL ready athletes on a weekly bases.

---------------------------------------------------

DP

I always get extremely excited this time of year. This is the time that I get to become some young mans biggest fan for the next 5 years. Other people I have loved in the past have gone from Adrian McPherson, Troy Smith, MarcusVick, Josh Freeman, basically black qbs.
The Player who I am choosing to be the next superstar is E.J.Manuel, the 6'5 210 QB from Virginia who recently signed with Florida State.

Ed Note: DP also provided ESPN write up. Still long, still boring. Lots of stuff about strong arms, fitting balls into tight sports, lateral movements, speed, cock as big as a horses, blah, blah, blah. Look it up if you are so inclined.

Site News and NFL Offseason Grumblings

As we are always trying to raise the bar here at Contract Year, I am pleased to announce a new contributor has joined the force. In addition to DP and myself, fellow URI degenerate BMack will be providing fresh content for the site. Both DP and BMack are fortunate enough to still attend URI as they were academically red-shirted about nine times each. If you are in Southern Rhode Island, you can check them out on 90.3 (or stream them live on http://www.wriu.org/) on Tuesdays and Fridays. Or if Comcast continues to fuck us on the game selection, you can hear them call Rhody basketball games on the same station.

With that said, here is BMack's cherry popper -
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Today the Jags signed defensive coordinator Gregg Williams, after he had tried to get the head coaching position with his former team, the Washington Redskins. Williams has had several interviews (like nine) with the Redskins, but Snyder has continued to look for outside help.

This pisses me off. Redskin players have stated that they want Williams as their head coach since the moment Joe Gibbs retired. This team has a core group of guys that include Campbell, Portis, Cooley, Fletcher, Springs, ect... They are built to win as it is right now. All that is needed is a year of stability (you know like one without a changing of the entire coaching staff, or a brutal killing).

Instead Snyder decides to go look for another big name. Listen, get your head out of your ass, unless you can get Coughlin, its a pointless search. What have big names gotten you in the past? Remember that awesome signing of Bruce Smith past his prime? He has to be worst owner in the NFL (and only because Matt Millen is GM not owner). Snyder let the one guy that could have brought stability to his team, and I hope he pays the price. I hope he gets nothing but holdouts, and no one resigns.

Screw you Dan Snyder.

Reaction to XLII

There is not a whole lot left to say. I feel like the Patriots forgot who they were and who got them to 4 Super Bowls in 7 years. They left the blue collar, workman attitude at home and brought some brash, arrogant, privileged sense of entitlement to Arizona. It reminded me of the scene from Two for the Money where John Anthony shows up to work on Tuesday and makes all his picks for the following week without a drop of research. He then offers to make his picks for two Sundays out on Friday. He was untouchable, he just went 12-0 the prior week and brought untold millions to the firm. What happened to Brandon Lang you thought as he whipped around New York in an AMG, rocking $3000 suits. That was the Patriots for the past two weeks. Well, John Anthony proceeded to get humiliated for the remainder of the season and the Pats ended up blowing the most winnable game in Super Bowl history. It makes me sick and I'm not even that hard of a Pats fan. I admire them, I respect them and since Belichick came to town, I have appreciated them. I'm not sure I can do any of that anymore.

That's all I got. DP's got a little more. From a true non-fan.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Like I said in my first post I despise both of these teams and after watching the Super Bowl my hatred only grew. Here are a couple things that infuriated/amused me. I will start with the G-MEN:

Far too much credit is being taken away from the Giants d-line and given to Sheli Manning. If not for the defensive line the G-Men wouldn't have been in the game. Eli Manning would not be talked about if a couple of tips went the Pats way. If Asanti "get paid" Samuel made a necessary and easy interception, if Merriweather made an interception on the tip, and if not for David "40yards in the regular season" Tyree making the catch of his career Eli Manning would be thrown under the bus.

This was my greatest fear going into the game and has became true. Yes, Eli did heave up a pass that is in the conversation for the greatest play in Super Bowl history. Yes, The Giants completed the greatest upset in NFL history, but if not for the Giants D-line pressuring Tom terrific the Giants would have hardly been a footnote in history.

Brandon Jacobs Sucks, he should be cut and not spoken about at all ever again.

As for the Pats:

It is really, really relieving that I do not have to hear them being called the greatest team in NFL history.

They trademarked 19-0, HAHAHAHA

Junior Seau STILL doesn't have a ring.

Can everyone smell Randy Moss starting to get disgruntled?

Tom Brady was not terrible. In fact, he did what he needed to do to win the game, but its good to see immortals in the football world get knocked down to size.

Is it me or is "The Genius" Bill Belichick the most Classless human being onthe earth. Him walking off the field is absolutely despicable and very Randy Moss like. Fuck Belichick and his arrogance. I hope he doesn't make it to the play-offs ever again. I find that worse than Eli Manning's draft day stunt.

This will be my last Patriots/ Giants bashing. God I still hate both these teams. (At least Jarod Lorenzen gets a ring)

GO CELTICS -- DP

Kevin McHale Can Breathe Easy

It looks like ex-Celtic GM Chris Wallace struck again, trading away all-star Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown, rookie Javaris Crittendon, Gasol's bro Mark Gasol and first round picks in 2008 and 2010. You have to agree that the Lakers hit a home run with this trade. I am not fond of the Lakers and especially Kobe Bryant. However the lakers now have two good centers once Bynam comes back and Gasol is a great passer which you need to be when you play on the same team as the rapist. Also, Gasol has three moreyears left on his contract. As a Celtic fan I definitly do not want to see the Lakers in order to get 17. - DP

Presented Without Comment and for No Good Reason

Perspective of a Non Fan

Since I'm in Arizona for the week covering the Super Bowl festivies (Maxim Party tomorrow night, Penthouse Party on Friday night), I have invited a guest to write some fresh posts to keep content flowing around here. This means I take no blame for any gramatical errors and can't stress enough that none of these opinions are my own. Editing is at a minimum around here - I'm too busy trying to find out what Phoenix did with all the whores since Craig's List shut down the casual encounters for the week. Fucking mormans out here. Who knew.

Hopefully DP will keep posts like these coming and bail me out once and a while.


Going into this weekend’s festivities I have had a hard time deciding who to root for. You see I hate both the Patriots and The Giants so this was my plight. Also, I do not agree with people saying I should not root for anyone, I mean you have to root for someone.

Cons for Pats:

I hate Patriot fans, If you ask any Patriots fan they will say that they were there with them the whole time, but if you think of it were they really? I consider Patriots fans the most fair-weathered fans in the world, maybe even topping the Yankees for worst fans ever.

I hate the Belichick aura. I agree he is a great coach, but don't you think people are a little quick to go to their knees when they think of this guy. Sure you can say "he hasn't had the tools that any other team has" but other than their first Super Bowl victory against the Rams that isn't completely true.

Tom Brady - girls love him and guys want to be him. Fuck that. Up until this year I would have said he was the most overrated QB in the league and that Peyton Manning was indeed a far superior QB. After this season however, I just can't do that, and I would lose all of my credibility if I truly believed that now. He's great and I hate it.

Bulletin material - c'mon at 18-0 is there really a need to start bringing up bulletin material. Plaxico Burress did say his team would win 24-17, who cares, he wants his team to be a Super Bowl champion. Can you blame the guy?

Rodney Harrison, I used to love you when you were on the Chargers, but you lost all credibility in my eyes when you got caught for steroids.

Laurence Maroney (had him), Randy Moss (didn’t have him), Wes Welker (didn't have him), Dante Stallworth (had him) Fantasy football reasons.

Tedy Bruschi - speaking of people getting on their knees and overrating people, this man is by far the worst Linebacker on the team and has been for years and gets all the credit for the defense. It does not make sense how Vrabel and Thomas get completely over-looked to this first class asshole. If the Patriots give up a big play it is due to him.

On the brink of history and the last thing I want to hear is them be called the greatest team for years to come.

Cons for Giants:

To put this in the most non offensive way as possible almost everyone on this team is a GIANT HOMO.

Eli Manning - hated him since he was at Ole Miss, and since his classless draft day debacle I have despised him. There are so many things to hate about Eli - His family, his double stuffed Oreos campaign, his little whiney face every time someone does something bad on offense (usually it is him). He is so over-rated and if not for the Giants D line he would be nowhere close to Super Bowl. He kills the dream that one day Jared Lorenzen, the hefty lefty from Kentucky, will ever play And finally, he just looks like a douche bag.

Tom Coughlin - he looks like an angry ferret, and has a very homosexual smile.

Tiki Barber - he used to play there, nuff said

Michael Strahan - fake sack record, huge gap in his teeth, terrible voice, basically everything about him sucks.

Brandon Jacobs fucked over so many people fantasy wise.

Disrespect Card - we get it Giants, you are an underdog. You do not need to remind everyone, every day on TV. Get over yourselves and focus on the game ahead.

Jets fans - for having their "2nd favorite team" be the Giants. Shows how good of fan you actually are.

Pros of Pats winning the Super Bowl:

Giants fans being unhappy

72 Dolphins who are all bitter old men soon to be rather unhappy.

New York losing again

Seeing Eli never being called a great quarterback for all next season

Eli's moping shoulders.

Pros of Giants Winning:

Seeing Pats fans unhappy

Hearing Pats fans make up excuses about referees, and phantom calls

I’m a Steelers fan and that would be awesome

Hearing the Patriots be called the most over rated team in NFL History

Seeing Amani Toomer win a Super Bowl, and junior Seau not


So after taking this all into consideration, I have to say I will root for the Pats (unless Eli gets hurts and Jared Lorenzen comes in)

Jeremy Stevens is a Great Guy

It is early but I am prepared to nominate Jeremy Stevens as the biggest scumbag of 2008. Granted, most of which makes him scum took place long before 2008 but many of the actual facts are only coming to light now and retroactive superlatives are douchy.

I'll leave some of the more disturbing items (rape, attempted murder, 19 DUI's, etc...) to the Seattle Times which published this piece today. Instead, here is an email he sent to one of his sexual assault victims back during his time at the University of Washington -

"i know that you are not going to beliewhat i have to say especially after satterday night but when i got your e-mail today i laughed a first but then it started to sink in and my heart started to break as i read over your words.

"i realize that i have [messed] up and I want to talk to you about being with you and how i can make it up to you. this is not a joke i want to have you in my arms and know that you are mine and ythat nothing that i have done or [a friend] has said caould ever change the way that i feel about you. when i think back to the night that i spent with you by ourselves i wish that i would have done one thing and that is, i wish i would have put ... "

Stevens then describes, in explicit terms, an anal-sex act he wanted to do to her. He closes with: "you whore dont ever utter my name again."

Classy guy. But then again, Mike Holmgren vouched for him...twice.

The story in the Seattle Times is a 'part 1 of 4'. The next few days should be interesting.

More Duke

The weekly rankings came out (Duke remains in the 3 spot behind the only two undefeated teams left) and with them came the newest installment of bracketology. Personally, I do not put much faith in Joe Lunardi because its highly unlikely that he is even 25% right this early in the season. However, I do enjoy his commentary - especially this week.

Unfortunately, his columns are behind the brick wall on the four letter (if you have insider, click here). For your edification I have re-posted the highlights here.

Clearly, the Bruins did something that will never be repeated. The expansion of the NCAA field and the melding of geographic regions make it an unthinkable feat. Just matching the seven straight championships would require winning 42 tournament games in a row.

As Bill Walton would say, it's un-BEE-LEEEVE-able.

But it may no longer be the singular accomplishment in the history of the college game. As dynasties go, what Mike Krzyzewski has done (and is still doing) at Duke deserves a legitimate mention. Perhaps twice.
All of this is brought to mind by today's bracket. You'll see the Blue Devils as a projected No. 1 seed for the first time this season. No surprise there; Duke is a regular on the top line of the bracket, right?

But did you know how regular? If this year's Blue Devils actually attain a No. 1 seed (and even if they don't), no team has ever -- and I mean E-V-E-R -- come close to being this good for this long. Whether you find it magnificent or monotonous, the numbers are the numbers:

• From 1999-2006, Duke was a No. 1 seed seven times in eight years. The Blue Devils won just one national championship in that span, but were no worse than one of the four best teams in the country - and usually better than that -- in all but one of those seasons. I call this dynasty "Duke II."

• The "Duke I" dynasty came from 1986-1994. In that nine-year period, despite receiving a No. 1 seed just twice, the Blue Devils advanced to the Final Four seven times (including five straight from 1988-1992). So, at minimum, Duke won four straight NCAA Tournament games -- same as the UCLA title teams -- seven times in nine years. Three times the Devils won five straight in a single tourney (losing the championship game in 1986, 1990 and 1994), sandwiching their consecutive 6-0 title runs in 1991 and 1992.

It's not 10 national championships in 12 years, as the Wizards of Westwood achieved, but I'd say it's equally unthinkable. Seven No. 1 seeds in eight seasons (and quite possibly eight in 10 years if the current Blue Devils stay put) for Duke II; seven Final Fours in nine seasons for Duke I.

As an achievement, my vote stays with UCLA. For difficulty, Duke has surpassed that. Twice.

Don't Look Now

But this year's Duke team is well on their way to a fourth national title (as predicted by this guy a few short months ago).

For the first time in a long, long time, The Blue Devils entered the season without a ton of hype. Expectations were rather low and while they were certainly expected to finish in the top 3 in the ACC, nobody (except me) thought they would be the 3rd best team in the nation at the end of January. Everybody called them too young, too inexperienced, too short, too slow, too white, too whatever.

Well here we are, basking in the glow of a Maryland defeat (the same Maryland that edged Final Four favorite UNC). For Duke, it was their second road win in 5 days and their seventh straight win since the tough road loss to Pittsburgh back in December. Tonight's win was especially refreshing given that they had to play from behind in a hostile environment. They also had to play without Lance Thomas, Greg Paulus and Kyle Singler due to early foul trouble.

Once again, Demarcus Nelson put the Devils on his back and carried them down the stretch. Its no coincidence that Nelson was named as a mid-season candidate for the Naismith and Wooden POY awards prior to the game.

Say what you want about their chances come March but this team will definitely be a tough out for whomever is unfortunate enough to draw them.

You Know Who You Look Like?

This guy Trevor I used to know in high school.

Who the fuck cares? Do I know Trevor? No, I do not. So what exactly was the point of telling me I look like him? I hate that shit. It doesn't matter who it is, I've heard it all.

I guess the worst case scenario would be a "hey, you look like my ex-boyfriend Steve". Not only is it annoying as fuck but I really can't see how that would help your cause. "Oh really? He used to beat the shit out of you while watching midget porn? Seems like a great guy. Anyways, I'm nothing like him." Tell me how that works out for you.

Slightly less aggravating? The "has anyone ever told you that you look like celebrity x?" Yeah, I hate that one too. Even if its a great celebrity, no chance you will ever live up to him. Maybe it is a D-list celeb, either way the guy is D-list for a reason. Probably a reason you do not want to be associated with.

The only thing more annoying is the do you know "x" game? Tell someone you went to the University of Bumfuck and they will pepper your ass with 20 'do you knows'. There was a time in my life where I would get legitimately excited if I could answer yes to one of these. Now, as soon as I hear the 3-word preface I'm tuned out. By the time you get the name out, I'm already balls deep in some broad halfway across the bar (figuratively speaking of course).

Is this what we have been reduced to as a human race? Stupid games about who we know or who we look like? Do the French do this? How about the A-rabs? I would guess no on both accounts. Something tells me they are a bit more sophisticated. So why must we resort to this time and time again? I just don't get it.

Trading Athletes

In the premiere issue of Portfolio Magazine, Michael Lewis (author of The Blind Side, Moneyball and Liar's Poker) penned an article entitled "The Jock Exchange". The basic idea behind the article is that with all the innovation that has taken place in the finance world over the past 25 years, why has nobody created an exchange where we could trade athletes.

Athletes are really not much different than stocks, bonds, commodities or any other asset. Their value is based on supply and demand and they have fair values assigned to them by what the market is willing to pay. Just like a stock, an athlete can be overpriced (think JD Drew and Google) or they can be severely undervalued (David Ortiz and JP Morgan).

As we find out in Lewis' article, the infrastructure is already in place thanks to a company called Protrade (http://www.protrade.com/). Currently you can only use pretend money to trade but all of the logistics are the same.

If this ever went mainstream, the ramifications would be huge. The ability to have a financial stake in the success of an individual player would revolutionize the sporting landscape. Teams would be able to hedge their bets (for instance Theo would probably be short about 2,000,000 JD Drew shares) and sponsors could do the same. Fans could put their money where there mouths are and institutions would have a new way to diversify their funds.

The simple idea of all this taking place has had my mind spinning since the moment I read the article. Imagine my glee when I discovered we might be one step closer to making this a reality.

With no exchange ready to handle the business, one minor league pitcher is striking out on his own to raise a little capital.

Via Marginal Revolution -

Randy Newsom, relief pitcher for the Cleveland Indians, is selling 4% of his future major league salary. There are 2,500 shares in the IPO so each share gets you a claim to 0.000016% of his future salary including bonuses. Shares sell for $20 each.

The fundamentals are pretty simple. Randy gets $50,000 up front and the buyers get a tiny stake in his future. Granted, this guy is a nobody and statistically, his odds of making to the big leagues are rather slim. Worse case scenario, you plop down a Jackson on the guy and he's a bust. But what about the upside? He only needs to make 1.25 million over his career for you to break even (ignoring opportunity costs of course). What if he is the next Mo Rivera? If he brings down half of what big Mo has received over his career, your $20 is now worth $560 (a %2600 return).

I'll admit, this is one small step towards my ultimate dream of being able to buy and sell humans from all walks of life. But it is a step nonetheless and progress is progress. Let's not forget, in 1980, mortgages were something that consumers bought from banks and banks held onto until you paid them back. In 2008, everybody and their mother owns a piece of the mortgage market and they are the primary cause behind the unraveling global economy.

In 2020, we'll be looking at our next financial crisis except this time it will be caused by an athlete bubble led by the overvaluation of Patrick Patterson, Kyle Singler, Jacoby Ellsbury, Darren McFadden and OJ Mayo. I can't wait.