Signing Day

Signing day was today. I don't really care. But apparently we were supposed to pick a player to latch on to for his college career. I read Rivals and occasionally scan the EPSN top prospects but other than that it all kind of bores me. Let me know when these guys pick up their first sexual assualt charge or get busted for buying booze for 15 year olds. My pick is Kevin Hart, a lineman from Nevada. I don't know dick about him and didn't really care to find anything out. Allegedly he paid some recruiter to hook him up at Cal. Nobody informed him that blue chip athletes get paid, they don't do the paying. Boy I would love to see this guys SAT scores. Anyways, here's the story as I originally saw it. April Fool's Signing Day

BMack and DP were a little more thorough in their own research. Here are some snippets from the novels they sent in.
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BMack -

I have found my new love in college football. His name is De'Anthony Curtis (Ed Note: The ESPN write up was provided however its long and boring so go to ESPN.com if you really give a shit). This freak of nature will be attending the great school of Arkansas. He is going to be the next Mcfadden, and will win at least one Hiesman Trophy. There are many reasons to enjoy this "Athlete". Take his first name, De'Anthony, any person thats put De', or Ja' in front of thier name has greatness in thier future. JaMarcus Russell, DeAngelo Williams (college), and a personal favorite from back in the day Jamar Tombs (Texas A&M). The next reason to love him is that he has the same last name as my favorite NFL player ever Curtis Martin. So how can we possibly go wrong. De'Anthony will also be in a system that is losing thier top two running backs, and loves to run the ball. With the Arkansas system in place he will get a lot of touches. Playing in the SEC helps a player reach that next level since you will be playing NFL ready athletes on a weekly bases.

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DP

I always get extremely excited this time of year. This is the time that I get to become some young mans biggest fan for the next 5 years. Other people I have loved in the past have gone from Adrian McPherson, Troy Smith, MarcusVick, Josh Freeman, basically black qbs.
The Player who I am choosing to be the next superstar is E.J.Manuel, the 6'5 210 QB from Virginia who recently signed with Florida State.

Ed Note: DP also provided ESPN write up. Still long, still boring. Lots of stuff about strong arms, fitting balls into tight sports, lateral movements, speed, cock as big as a horses, blah, blah, blah. Look it up if you are so inclined.

Reaction to XLII

There is not a whole lot left to say. I feel like the Patriots forgot who they were and who got them to 4 Super Bowls in 7 years. They left the blue collar, workman attitude at home and brought some brash, arrogant, privileged sense of entitlement to Arizona. It reminded me of the scene from Two for the Money where John Anthony shows up to work on Tuesday and makes all his picks for the following week without a drop of research. He then offers to make his picks for two Sundays out on Friday. He was untouchable, he just went 12-0 the prior week and brought untold millions to the firm. What happened to Brandon Lang you thought as he whipped around New York in an AMG, rocking $3000 suits. That was the Patriots for the past two weeks. Well, John Anthony proceeded to get humiliated for the remainder of the season and the Pats ended up blowing the most winnable game in Super Bowl history. It makes me sick and I'm not even that hard of a Pats fan. I admire them, I respect them and since Belichick came to town, I have appreciated them. I'm not sure I can do any of that anymore.

That's all I got. DP's got a little more. From a true non-fan.
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Like I said in my first post I despise both of these teams and after watching the Super Bowl my hatred only grew. Here are a couple things that infuriated/amused me. I will start with the G-MEN:

Far too much credit is being taken away from the Giants d-line and given to Sheli Manning. If not for the defensive line the G-Men wouldn't have been in the game. Eli Manning would not be talked about if a couple of tips went the Pats way. If Asanti "get paid" Samuel made a necessary and easy interception, if Merriweather made an interception on the tip, and if not for David "40yards in the regular season" Tyree making the catch of his career Eli Manning would be thrown under the bus.

This was my greatest fear going into the game and has became true. Yes, Eli did heave up a pass that is in the conversation for the greatest play in Super Bowl history. Yes, The Giants completed the greatest upset in NFL history, but if not for the Giants D-line pressuring Tom terrific the Giants would have hardly been a footnote in history.

Brandon Jacobs Sucks, he should be cut and not spoken about at all ever again.

As for the Pats:

It is really, really relieving that I do not have to hear them being called the greatest team in NFL history.

They trademarked 19-0, HAHAHAHA

Junior Seau STILL doesn't have a ring.

Can everyone smell Randy Moss starting to get disgruntled?

Tom Brady was not terrible. In fact, he did what he needed to do to win the game, but its good to see immortals in the football world get knocked down to size.

Is it me or is "The Genius" Bill Belichick the most Classless human being onthe earth. Him walking off the field is absolutely despicable and very Randy Moss like. Fuck Belichick and his arrogance. I hope he doesn't make it to the play-offs ever again. I find that worse than Eli Manning's draft day stunt.

This will be my last Patriots/ Giants bashing. God I still hate both these teams. (At least Jarod Lorenzen gets a ring)

GO CELTICS -- DP

Kevin McHale Can Breathe Easy

It looks like ex-Celtic GM Chris Wallace struck again, trading away all-star Pau Gasol for Kwame Brown, rookie Javaris Crittendon, Gasol's bro Mark Gasol and first round picks in 2008 and 2010. You have to agree that the Lakers hit a home run with this trade. I am not fond of the Lakers and especially Kobe Bryant. However the lakers now have two good centers once Bynam comes back and Gasol is a great passer which you need to be when you play on the same team as the rapist. Also, Gasol has three moreyears left on his contract. As a Celtic fan I definitly do not want to see the Lakers in order to get 17. - DP

Perspective of a Non Fan

Since I'm in Arizona for the week covering the Super Bowl festivies (Maxim Party tomorrow night, Penthouse Party on Friday night), I have invited a guest to write some fresh posts to keep content flowing around here. This means I take no blame for any gramatical errors and can't stress enough that none of these opinions are my own. Editing is at a minimum around here - I'm too busy trying to find out what Phoenix did with all the whores since Craig's List shut down the casual encounters for the week. Fucking mormans out here. Who knew.

Hopefully DP will keep posts like these coming and bail me out once and a while.


Going into this weekend’s festivities I have had a hard time deciding who to root for. You see I hate both the Patriots and The Giants so this was my plight. Also, I do not agree with people saying I should not root for anyone, I mean you have to root for someone.

Cons for Pats:

I hate Patriot fans, If you ask any Patriots fan they will say that they were there with them the whole time, but if you think of it were they really? I consider Patriots fans the most fair-weathered fans in the world, maybe even topping the Yankees for worst fans ever.

I hate the Belichick aura. I agree he is a great coach, but don't you think people are a little quick to go to their knees when they think of this guy. Sure you can say "he hasn't had the tools that any other team has" but other than their first Super Bowl victory against the Rams that isn't completely true.

Tom Brady - girls love him and guys want to be him. Fuck that. Up until this year I would have said he was the most overrated QB in the league and that Peyton Manning was indeed a far superior QB. After this season however, I just can't do that, and I would lose all of my credibility if I truly believed that now. He's great and I hate it.

Bulletin material - c'mon at 18-0 is there really a need to start bringing up bulletin material. Plaxico Burress did say his team would win 24-17, who cares, he wants his team to be a Super Bowl champion. Can you blame the guy?

Rodney Harrison, I used to love you when you were on the Chargers, but you lost all credibility in my eyes when you got caught for steroids.

Laurence Maroney (had him), Randy Moss (didn’t have him), Wes Welker (didn't have him), Dante Stallworth (had him) Fantasy football reasons.

Tedy Bruschi - speaking of people getting on their knees and overrating people, this man is by far the worst Linebacker on the team and has been for years and gets all the credit for the defense. It does not make sense how Vrabel and Thomas get completely over-looked to this first class asshole. If the Patriots give up a big play it is due to him.

On the brink of history and the last thing I want to hear is them be called the greatest team for years to come.

Cons for Giants:

To put this in the most non offensive way as possible almost everyone on this team is a GIANT HOMO.

Eli Manning - hated him since he was at Ole Miss, and since his classless draft day debacle I have despised him. There are so many things to hate about Eli - His family, his double stuffed Oreos campaign, his little whiney face every time someone does something bad on offense (usually it is him). He is so over-rated and if not for the Giants D line he would be nowhere close to Super Bowl. He kills the dream that one day Jared Lorenzen, the hefty lefty from Kentucky, will ever play And finally, he just looks like a douche bag.

Tom Coughlin - he looks like an angry ferret, and has a very homosexual smile.

Tiki Barber - he used to play there, nuff said

Michael Strahan - fake sack record, huge gap in his teeth, terrible voice, basically everything about him sucks.

Brandon Jacobs fucked over so many people fantasy wise.

Disrespect Card - we get it Giants, you are an underdog. You do not need to remind everyone, every day on TV. Get over yourselves and focus on the game ahead.

Jets fans - for having their "2nd favorite team" be the Giants. Shows how good of fan you actually are.

Pros of Pats winning the Super Bowl:

Giants fans being unhappy

72 Dolphins who are all bitter old men soon to be rather unhappy.

New York losing again

Seeing Eli never being called a great quarterback for all next season

Eli's moping shoulders.

Pros of Giants Winning:

Seeing Pats fans unhappy

Hearing Pats fans make up excuses about referees, and phantom calls

I’m a Steelers fan and that would be awesome

Hearing the Patriots be called the most over rated team in NFL History

Seeing Amani Toomer win a Super Bowl, and junior Seau not


So after taking this all into consideration, I have to say I will root for the Pats (unless Eli gets hurts and Jared Lorenzen comes in)